Lost

I've been feeling really lost. I seem to have lost myself somewhere in a conundrum while trying to figure things out. I don't know what to feel anymore. I don't know what I'm feeling. I don't know what I'm supposed to be doing. I don't know where I'm supposed to be. I don't know, I don't know, I don't know. That's what I've been saying.

I just want to escape from this mundane life at times. 

I wake up each day feeling more lost. As the day passes, the more disorientated I feel. 

I can't tell what's wrong, and what's right. My head tells me this and my heart tells me that. I don't know which to follow. My instincts, my intuitions? Clairvoyance, shouldn't really depend on that, should I?

To you, do things happen by chance or by choice?

It's a little bit of both, in my point of view.

Have you ever wondered, what it'd be like if you suddenly disappear from the face of this world someday? What would happen? Who would miss you? Who would wonder where you've went? 

Questions have been running through my mind all day long. I don't have any answers to any of them. I just sit down and stare into space, a zillion things come up in my head. I watch a movie, a particular scene triggers a memory in the back of my head and I start thinking about another billion more things.

To be honest, I miss the past, in a way, I really do. 

Love, Sheena.

P.S. I've deleted a lot of my posts, about three hundred of them, I presume? Most of the deleted posts are from 2008 and 2009. I didn't touch any posts after 2009. :)) 

P.P.S. I've also updated my About Me page and the About Me thing at the side! :D I realised that I've never changed "Year 10C, Seri Mulia Sarjana School" into "Year 11C, Seri Mulia Sarjana School" for the whole year... and now that I realised it, I'm no longer a Year 11C student in Seri Mulia Sarjana School, but a Year 12I2 student in ISB.. Hmm, I miss SMSS.